Lately, I've been trying to do a better job of living in the moment and being grateful for all of the people and places in my life that have had an impact on me.
The hardest part is including all of the bad times that have shaped me into who I am today. Without some of those “bad” times, I may not have had many “good” realizations. Being tested and coming out on the other side a wiser person is also something I'm thankful for.
There is a quote I've been thinking about lately from an Eastern monastic: “Sixty is a good age, but you only learn about it at 70. Everything is in comparison. Therefore, we should never say that life, the conditions of life, are not good, because when we actually get to the point of getting into other conditions, then our conditions will be remembered with gratitude that we have lived in such conditions, with such people, in such conditions of life.
“One of the saints said, 'Bless your life and it will be blessed; curse your life and it will be cursed.' Everything is within us. Therefore, the most important thing is the inner rod, our attitude to life.”
There have been times in my life where I managed to convince myself that I was at the lowest point possible. After making it through, though, I think I've been doing a better job of looking back on those times with a certain level of gratitude, despite any trauma or misfortune that came my way. In the end, these experiences shaped me into who I am today and (hopefully) provided me with some additional wisdom.
I am getting married in October, so I've had some time to think about my relationship, which started when I was a sophomore in high school and is reaching a new beginning nine years later this fall. I've also had time to reflect on the people who will be present at the ceremony, and the people who have passed on. I thank God for all of them.
Psalm 27:13 says, “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed.” I think that's the key. Understanding that we are in a tough spot and need to get out of it is fine, but losing heart is something that we must all fight against. Total despondency also means a total lack of faith, and despite the ups and downs, I don't plan on ever losing the mustard seed.
